Sorry for the light posting, I see people coming by and feel twinges about that but I’ve been hanging out at Icarus, the place to go for support and soothing. I hate support and soothing, you shouldn’t have to spell it all out, Icarus understands that, and that’s why it works.
Sometimes I feel so shut down, is that an accident, or is it compliance with the shutting down forces, which are immensurable, more so for being invisible to the naked eye. I need smart, emotional tending by people who will put up with my bullshit, and that’s what takes me to Icarus, where they wipe you off and set you back on your feet.
It’s the same old NAMI bewilderment, I wish I could reconcile or get past it or know where I am in the process of framing my perspective vis a vis these cruel wrecking fuckers, who, yes, I know, I threw roses at in my last post, yes I know, you were expecting stability, sorry, no, it’s a verses mentality, is it NAMI, or is it me, can I accommodate ambivalence, can anyone? Ambivalence is the laudable zen mentality but it means a weak political stance in a polarized climate. This is why kindhearted people lose at politics, I’m averse to polarization, it’s a spiritual thing, I can’t give it up, I have to include them, inclusion or death. But. Who asked for the polarization? Who creates it? What makes NAMI hate?
We live in dark times. Our sensitive brothers and sisters at The Icarus Project are there for a reason, and I’m pulling on their coat til this slimy can of worms slithers off my plate, and will come back to teh blogging once my head’s on straight.